Talk About a Stretch

Proof positive that money makes the world go 'round: Taylor Lautner has been tapped to play the lead in a movie. Which movie? The big-screen, 3-D (of course) adaptation (?) of Stretch Armstrong, that iconic action figure with the unique ability to be at both ends of the living room at once.

I love how the folks at Universal, the studio behind the "flexible" project, have only dollars and abdominals in mind. Surely no one looked at Taylor's excrutiating performance in "New Moon" and thought, "Wow. What an actor. Now there's someone who can carry a movie."

I realize "Stretch Armstrong" isn't exactly prestige material, but franchises based on toys are big, bankable commodities these days, expected to be taken seriously. Good luck with that, Universal. Lautner puts many an actor to shame when he whips off his Abercrombie T, but when he opens his mouth, all bets are off.