Friday, November 21, 2008

The 'Twilight' Zone

(I have to admit, I stole that headline from James Wolcott's Vanity Fair article on the blood-sucking blockbuster. But it's a rather fair game analogy, no? I couldn't resist.)

I've got nothing invested in the massively over-hyped film version of now immortal author Stephenie Meyer's massively successful undead anthology. I'll not be attending any midnight screenings, or twilight ones, for that matter (listen to me, once again, temptation not withstood). In fact, I'm thinking of boycotting this film altogether. If I see one more web site ad banner with Photoshop-ed pics of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson (like the one below), I might just sink my teeth into my laptop's power cord.

Seriously, this bitch is everywhere. Cinema sites can't get enough, Entertainment Weekly is downright obsessed (devoting two of its covers to the flick so far), and even Men's Health has car part-sounding co-star Cam Gigandet as its cover boy. Yet, amidst all this relentless excitement, no one can seem to say anything viable about the quality of the film itself. If the best endorsement Summit Entertainment can dig up about their product is "a full-blown pop culture phenomenon" (from the LA Times), they may as well tell everyone to stay home and watch "Dancing With the Stars."

I'm sure that "Twilight" doesn't reek as bad as, say, "Queen of the Damned," but unless someone gives me a damned good reason to catch this movie (besides the fact that it's wildly popular or that Pattinson looks like a post-mortem James Dean), I'm holding tight to my garlic.

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